Tonight I just said goodbye to a dear friend. Joseph Emata worked his last shift for us and will leave for the Philippines soon. Oh how he will be missed. I have cried a lot over the last weeks in anticipation of this final in person goodbye. I'm not cried out yet but it is fitting and normal to shed these tears. What Joseph has meant to our family is really beyond words.

We had a get together yesterday with our family and friends and Joseph's family and I had an opportunity to say a few words. I wrote them to Joseph and read them to him because I knew I would have trouble staying composed speaking off the cuff in front of the group. As I sit and feel the wave of emotion that is still hitting me in intervals, I thought I would share how I feel with anyone who is still checking on this update site. My letter to Joseph:

Dear Joseph,

Eight and half years ago I was praying to God that He would send just the right people to help us take care of Ryan when we brought him home from the hospital. It took 10 months but we knew we wanted him home and that we would need assistance. I had no idea what to look for in a caregiver. So I could only pray and believe that God knew exactly what and who we needed.

You and James showed up at the same time. I met you both at Long Beach Memorial Hospital and was able to get to know you and build trust in you for 5 weeks before moving Ryan home.

I remember well the first night I met you, walking up to Ryan’s room and spending time with you asking you to please stay awake with him through the night so I could go home and sleep. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to be up all night with nothing much going on. Ryan was not in a coma but of course he couldn’t talk, tell you what he needed or move around much at all. You were all alone with only the interruptions of nurses and hospital personnel coming in now and then.

You started off with 10 or 12 hour shifts 7 nights a week. I don’t know how you did it. But from the very first I was so relieved. I came back to the hospital after the first night and I saw the notes you took. You were so thorough and articulate and your handwriting was so perfect and legible. I knew from your notes that you were intelligent and diligent and trustworthy. You couldn’t have fallen asleep. You didn’t miss anything that went on. You didn’t decide if it was important or unimportant. If something happened in that room you noted it. You commented on how Ryan rested or if he was awake. Nothing got by you. I knew my prayers had been answered.

Over the years you have proven to be so much more than I even prayed for. You have been a friend to our family. You have found ways to make all our lives easier even though it hasn’t been part of the job description. You’ve spoiled us and you make it look easy. I know it couldn’t be. You, and our other caregivers have such long shifts and Ryan is not the easiest guy to take care of. He’s so tall and not always cooperative. But you have gotten to know the real Ryan as much as you could and you remember the good person that he truly is and never have taken his behavior personally. You and Chris and James all have been amazing that way. And as a mother, I am so grateful.

You have a family of your own and you work so hard to make a good life for them. I know they are your motivation to be the best you can be at your job and you have earned our respect and job security because we would never let you go. We wish you weren’t leaving us but you were honest about wanting to go back home and we are happy that you are able to do what has been your goal for a long time.

I remember being so concerned when Ryan was very fragile and it was so hard for me to leave him at times and to trust anyone at all to watch over him as I would. I can hear you telling me “Lindy, I cannot promise you anything but that I will do my best.” I knew that you always did your best and your best was the most I could expect from anyone, even myself. Nobody would be more alert and pay attention to detail like you. You have put up with all my instructions and it seems that I have continually added to the therapy I want Ryan to have regularly and you keep fitting it into the day. Your creativity to come up with things on your own has always delighted me. You’ve been more than accommodating you’ve been pro-active.

I will miss watching you play jeopardy with Nana, and seeing your smile and your spring in your step even though I’m sure you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. You have inspired me with your approach to life. I want to be more like Joseph Emata.

I’ve been crying off and on for weeks wondering how to say goodbye to you, Joseph. I don’t think I can. So the best thing to do I think is to learn how to use Skype and I’ll pretend that you are still in California, not so far away, and I will see you soon. You have been an angel sent to me by God. How can I ever thank you? I will just have to ask God to thank you for me. I’ve learned that He answers my prayers.

You are loved and will be missed more than I can say. Until we Skype,

Lindy